#amioverreacting

AIO for feeling hurt after my bf made a comment about my watch I 27F didn’t grow up rich. I’ve always been insecure about my economic status as a kid and well into my adulthood so much so that when I was younger I would lie about vacationing places I’ve never been to just so I can join conversations and not feel left out. Now, I’m still not rich now, but I earn okay (low 6 figs) and have done well for myself given where I came from. I have been with my bf 32M for 4 years now. He also didn’t grow up rich but has done REALLY well for himself. I’m talking self-made, earns-a-million-a-month well. Often, he likes to compare how far he’s gone to other people of the same profession. He’d be like “He’s 40 years old but he only earns this much” or “He’s the same age as me but doesn’t have a car” stuff like that. I always try to remind him to be nicer and, tbh, it’s a bit off-putting sometimes but I know he’s just proud of himself and so am I. It’s important to note that he only ever says stuff like this when we’re alone. He would never say that to other people because I think even he knows it doesn’t sound great. Now, recently, he’s been really into collecting watches. Rolex, Panerai, Tag, the works. These are expensive watches all within the 200k-1M range. He watches so many watch videos that I’ve also started to like watches and am thinking about buying more expensive watches for my own collection. Now, I’m not as rich as he is, so my purchasing power only ranges from 100k-200k which is enough to buy decent iconic 2nd hand watches. I haven’t bought anything yet so currently I only have 1 watch that I use all the time. It’s a Rado watch that I bought in Taiwan (70k) last 2024 because it resembles a watch that my mother had when I was a kid that I LOVED. My mother’s watch was also Rado and I think it’s the same type actually but I bought the newer version one. Now, again, like I said, I didn’t grow up rich. So being able to buy a watch that expensive was SUCH a big feat for me and I was so proud of myself. I really thought “wow I made it.” I know it’s not that expensive but that’s a long way from skipping meals in college because I couldn’t afford to eat 3 meals a day. Anyway, I was just talking to my bf about how, now, FOR ME, I don’t think it would be worth to buy cheaper watches (referring to watches under 50k) because I don’t think it’ll give me joy. He then proceeded to say “Yeah, that’s what I feel about your Rado.” Usually, my bf roasts me on the daily. It’s okay I don’t really mind it like he’d call me a “crazy bitch” often and it’s fine I’m used to it and I know he thinks all girls are crazy so I’m not offended. BUT IDK this one really hurt. He knows how insecure I am about money. Like, when I go in stores I’m always hyperaware if people help me or not and if they don’t I automatically think oh it’s probably because they think I can’t afford anything so why bother. Anyway, he knows all of this and yet he still made that comment. He’s always been tactless but this one was under the belt. What really hurts is he never says anything that he doesn’t mean. He repeatedly said it’s “just a bad joke” but I know he means it because that’s how he always talks about other people and he means it when he says it then. Now, the watch that I felt proud to wear is just another reminder that I’m still poor and not rich enough. It just makes me feel small and I’ve been crying about it to him. I let go of so many things he says to me but this one really hurts. Am I overreacting? ***EDIT: currency is in PHP*** EDIT 2: Okay so I really appreciate everyone who validated what I felt. My boyfriend has apologized profusely since our small fight this morning. He also didn’t grow up in the best environment so there are things that he is also still unlearning. Nobody’s perfect. What’s important is that we try our best to be better. That’s what kindness is really all about. Anyway, again, thank you to all the kind comments who genuinely just wanted to help. For all the comments that are hateful and just commenting to spread hate, I think YOU need to talk to a therapist and ask them why an anonymous post from someone you don’t know makes you SO angry… LOL tldr he’s sorry and promised to be better. Thanks everyone!

AIO to want to quit my job for having my deadname plastered on the employee roster for coworkers & customers to see? To preface this, I'm a trans man. I've been on HRT for almost a full month now, and I've got a legal name change pending. But everyone there knows the name I go by and it's on my namebadge. So at my job, we have a sheet of paper with everyone's names and how long they've been working there posted on a wall. It's not DIRECTLY visible to the general public, but it's on a half-wall opposite the order pickup window that separates the "employees only" space from the salesfloor. The purpose of this paper is to have something we can sign/initial after watching the monthly employee briefing. It CAN be seen by the public and it is ALWAYS seen by coworkers. Another one of my coworkers, a cis man who just has a "nickname" everyone calls him, we'll call him Dave for the purpose of this post. Dave is also known as Harry; most people there call him Harry but the boss uses either name to refer to him. Dave and the boss' husband are best friends. Dave's name on the paper is Harry. Mine is my birth name. My ***deadname***. The boss ***did not ask*** if she could do this. I ***did not want*** my coworkers to see my deadname, let alone the customers. I don't like *anybody* knowing it for that matter, and this isn't the first time people have abused that knowledge. (At my first ever job, a couple coworkers went behind my back and looked up my name in the system and started calling me it as a "joke" and saying it "sounded so pretty, why would I ever want to change it?") It feels incredibly disrespectful and unfair. The boss continues to reiterate that the schedule, the employee database, and the safe are required to have my legal name, but allows Dave to use a *nickname* for the thing that EVERYONE sees. I completely understand the safe and cash register and everything needing to have my current legal name, but shouldn't it then be universal? Shouldn't Dave's name on the employee roster say Dave? So bearing all this in mind, it feels *personal* and *hateful*. I know I probably sound like every other "fragile queer" out there who "tries so hard" to be seen a certain way, but it's not like I'm constantly shoving it down their throats. I tell my coworkers all the time, they don't need to beat themselves up for misgendering me because I understand I don't pass the GREATEST rn (I don't have facial hair and I can't fully conceal my chest with a binder because I have tassive mits). I don't talk about my "transness" or "make it my whole personality". I'm just one of the guys who works there and that's that. I don't like discussing it with people because most don't know how to handle it properly without saying something *horrible* without even realising it. I pretty much always assume people have good intentions. But this just seems *blatant*. It's making me want to find a new job, preferably AFTER the name change is finalised so this can't keep happening to me. I love my job dgmw, it pays pretty well and I get a decent amount of hours to do next-to-nothing all day. But I cannot keep dealing with this everywhere I go and pretending it doesn't hurt *immensely.* Idk. Am I overreacting?? **EDIT**: I've been going by my current name for YEARS. I've had this job for just over a month. The boss *used to* use my preferred name on the sheet but recently switched to my birth name, which is *why* it feels unfair when she didn't do the same to Dave.

AIO? It's 3am and my boyfriend never came home from his friend's house, he's been driving+drinking. I want to call local hospitals and ask about men in their early 20s being admitted after car crashes. His phone is going straight to voicemail. He drove to his friend's house after already having three glasses of wine. I offered to drive him multiple times but he didn't want me to. The plan was for him to catch an Uber back and I'd drive him back to his car in the morning. It's entirely possible the fool decided he wasn't that drunk and could drive back home, too (the plan with the friend in question involved beer). I'm worried and wondering if calling local hospitals would be an overreaction. I haven't heard anything from him since he left in the evening. Edit to add there's a cyclone hitting right now a couple of km from our city so driving conditions are horrific. I'm so worried for him. And no, he doesn't usually drink, and I've never seen him drink and drive before which is why I'm so concerned because this is NOT normal for him. He usually sticks to the time he says he'll be home.

AIO Bf cant say why he loves me AIO for being upset that my bf of 4 years cant say why he loves me. If i ask he just smiles. He then says he wouldnt know how to describe why he loves his parents as a reason why he cant do so for me. But its been 4 years and i am upset that he cant give some type of an answer. He just goes silent and says he isnt good with words.

AIO? I asked my boyfriend for space and I think I should leave My \[24F\] boyfriends \[31M\] siblings are in town for the weekend and we all went out to grab a quick breakfast. Conversation took a turn and the topic of obstetric emergencies came up. The sister asked the brother if he would choose the baby or the mother. He stated obviously the mother, his girlfriend. The brother then asked my boyfriend the same question. He said he doesn’t know what he would do, that it’s a hard question. By heart sank and everyone looked mortified. I asked him if he was being serious, and he said that’s how he really feels. When we got home i started bawling. I told him I needed space and that im really hurt that he thinks my life is up for debate. He got angry and said I am overreacting and looking for a problem. I feel betrayed and so vulnerable. How can I ever trust him with life altering decisions? Am I overreacting?

Am I overreacting for still being upset over my proposal years later? Okay… I already know how this sounds. I LOVE my partner. We’ve been together for years, we’re getting married, we have a very good and happy relationship But our proposal.. Awful, so awful I still get upset everytime I think about it. To this day I dread being asked about it. I find it embarrassing, every person who asks, you can see their faces cycle through the emotions. They start with initial happiness/excitement which quickly turns into shock, to wishing they never asked, then awkwardly laughing it off. I thought I’d be over it by now and be able to genuinely laugh about it but I just can’t, Beforehand when my partner asked or the topic of marriage come up in conversation, I was very clear on what I would have wanted. I told him I wanted something private, somewhere pretty, some photos, even if it’s him propping his phone up somewhere to record and ABSOLUTELY NO PUBLIC GRAND GESTURES or even being around lots of people. My absolute dream would be a quiet beach sunset, m whilst I don’t expect something that grand there is plenty of opportunities as we go away a lot. That being said I’d honestly have been happy with a pretty walk in a nice field somewhere local So what happened? It came completely out of the blue, it was the height of summer and we booked a fun zip lining excursion day out. It was a weekend and absolutely PACKED. We’re doing the activity, rock climbing, dripping with sweat, filthy. I’ve got no makeup on, I’m covered in dirt, hands are gross, my hair is a sweaty scraped back bun, I’m living my best life not caring what I look like as I have nothing to look nice for, Final zip line comes. He goes first, I follow, I don’t land properly and I literally get DRAGGED through a pile of dirt and bark. I’m COVERED, it’s sticking to my sweaty skin, its everywhere, it’s awful, I turn around… …and he’s on one knee. There’s a CROWD of strangers, as the final zip is near the entrance/exit. The busiest place there, no view just a swarm of people and children. People are laughing, pointing, filming (not to send to us just filming whilst laughing, probably posting it in their story or sending it to their group chats) He just blurts out “Will you marry me?” No speech. No moment. Nothing. I wanted the ground to swallow me up, I said yes and pretended to be happy as I didn’t know how to act, I was in SHOCK. I was obviously happy he proposed but the way it was done was dreadful. It felt like he took everything I said I wanted and did the complete opposite. I felt so unheard/as if he didn’t know me, like I wasn’t worth the effort or time to plan something special. To make an already bad situation worse, the ring also didn’t fit and again was the complete opposite of what I said I liked (I’d even sent him photos of rings I liked when he previously asked) He admitted he bought/decided to propose spur of the moment THAT WEEK. Luckily he got it from a high street shop and it was a cheap stock ring so it was easily retuned. A few days later I told him I was unhappy with the proposal as I literally couldn’t hold it in anymore. He seemed genuinely shocked I didn’t like it, he was disappointed but ultimately apologised. Even now years later it’s a huge joke across our family and friends, Every time someone gets engaged it’s ‘I hope their proposal wasn’t as bad yours’ or ‘I wonder if he opted for the zip line special’ Whilst the jokes are objectively funny (I am a naturally jokey person and have a sense of humour), but I just can’t see the fun side of this and hate my proposal is a huge joke. It’s a moment I dreamed about since being a child and one of the only things I genuinely wanted to be a serious romantic moment as it meant so much to me. When I see others getting engaged normally it saddens me, I’m happy for them obviously but still find it upsetting for myself. I would have literally preferred my partner to have rolled over in bed and asked me with a haribo or sat on the sofa. At least that would have saved the public humiliation. The worst thing is he is capable of doing nice things and definitely has the funds. He just spent 5k on me for my birthday for a luxury all expenses paid tropical holiday(not even a big/important birthday). Even after our proposal we went on holiday literally 2 weeks later to Egypt in a beautiful private beach resort. They literally had professional photographers in the resort you literally only had to pay for the photos if you liked them. We did speak about it properly a few years ago and he admitted he did it in a jokey way in case I said no then he could pretend it was all a joke anyway. Also doing it as a joke took the pressure off him. I almost feel like that makes it worse? He said he’d redo it but I doubt he will, I’m still ringless after retuning the initial ring, we had a cheap £20 placeholder for a bit but it tarnished so I got rid of it (i also didn’t like looking at it as it reminded me of how awful the proposal was). Our weddings about a year away. We’ve been on multiple multiple holidays with tonnes of opportunity, been to lots of pretty places, lots of nice walks. I haven’t mentioned it since our conversation as I don’t want to be one of those girls that bang on and then pressure him into it. But at the same time it’s been 5 years since our initial proposal. Maybe I should start grieving the fact I’ll never get the proposal I always dreamed of or even close. My feelings bubbled up this week as my friend’s partner came to me asking for advice on how to propose. He asked as he’s genuinely terrified his proposal will go bad and it’ll end up being the group laughing stock like my proposal. He said he can see how upset it made me and he doesn’t want to do that to my friend. Whilst sweet from him, the fact my proposal was so bad that’s his only fear about doing it makes me even more upset. I do feel guilty and like I should just be grateful someone wanted to propose to me at all. At the same time am I wrong for wanting it to be special or tailored to me rather than a literal joke? I hate that everyone says I have the worst proposal out of everyone they’ve ever known/met and honestly same, mine is the worst I’ve personally come across. It upsets me everytime it’s spoken about and I don’t know why it’s not getting any better So… AIOR for still being upset about it?

AIO Husband shot down 'luxury' trim of car even though it's within budget Me (36F) and husband (39M) have been together 7 years, married 1, expecting a baby. We are in the market for a new SUV and have narrowed it down to the base trim of a Subaru ($35k) and a mid level trim Honda ($40k). At the dealership, I learned that a feature I liked (panoramic camera) was available at the highest trim level for the Subaru ($40k). This feature isn't available for the Honda at all. When I asked husband about it, he said "we can't get the luxury trim". I told him I was confused because weren't we considering spending the same amount $40k for the Honda? He said we aren't the type of people to buy the fanciest version of a car. That I was lacking basic financial literacy for wanting to spend money on a bunch of unnecessary features. That he was having to explain basic economics to a child. And yet, he would theoretically be okay with spending $40k for another car in non-luxury trim. When I questioned that, he started to backtrack saying we should be aiming for the lowest cost that fits our needs, and shouldn't consider the Honda at all (which was my personal preference). I was offended because I do generally consider myself frugal. I've been driving a (Honda) subcompact with 190k miles for 14 years, and I bet it can last another 100k, but he wants a SUV for the baby. I could agree that +$5k just for a camera might be unreasonable, but in general we can afford an extra $5k on a car we'll have for 10-15 years, with features that we just like and enjoy and not necessarily need. He made me feel like I'm being superficial and irresponsible. I think he's being cheap. For context, we have no debt, we rent (HCOL), and make a combined 270k. He hasn't owned a car in a couple decades since he lived in the city, but we've since moved to the suburbs. I do almost all the driving but suspect that will change once baby arrives. AIO? Is he? Edit- oh this blew up. Trying to go to bed so just a few quick responses for now: - the things he said to me were not in public, and happened after a few hours of stewing and not so effective back and forths trying to figure out what the other was arguing - the option of getting an aftermarket camera is appealing to me actually, thanks for the suggestion - I agree it's not about the money, our communication is off. But maybe it is a little about the money. I haven't figured it out yet - The rear view camera is standard on all cars. The pano camera is like a birds eye view thing and also has a front parking camera

AIO by breaking up with my girlfriend over her use of AI? I am female, 26, and my (ex)girlfriend is female, 24. I'll call her "May" for the story. We were together for about 2 years, and taking about living together soon, so it was a serious relationship. Both me and May work as graphic designers. So a career HIGHLY threatened by AI. I am personally very very against the use of it, and May has always known this. She primarily works in website design, and her services are very in depth and pay well; she lays out the entire website, writes most of the "attention grabbing" type text on her own, and makes all the graphics you see anywhere herself. Or at least she did. The reason her clients pay such a high price, and she only needs to do a few projects a year, is because everything is hand done, personal, unique to her style and it takes a lot of time/skill. So in my opinion the use of AI is not only personally insulting, but comparable to some form of fraud. She's lying to her clients. May always shows me the websites she's making as she goes along to ask for input. She didn't tell me she began using AI, and hid it from me and absolutely everyone who knows her. But I noticed some parts of her most recent project just looked "different." The graphics didnt all flow together as well and didn't fit her usual style. Some of the text very much read like a bot writes. She was also seemingly going in hyper speed. She usually could spend a week on the opening page alone, but had this one done in a day. So I got suspicious. I asked her outright if she had used AI, and she lied telling me no she didnt. But I know when shes lying. So I'm not happy to admit, but I went in her work computer one day while I was sleeping over at her house, and found a ton of chat history with a bot asking for text blocks/how to word key phrases, and an AI program installed that made graphics. I confronted her the next day. And then she spilled everything, saying she didnt want to tell me cause she knows how I feel, but she doesn't see a problem with using it and thinks we need to "use the tools we have." AI isnt a tool. It's cheating. I asked her if she at least had made the client aware and adjusted her price, which she replied "they don't need to know my process." We argued about it over the course of a couple days. I gave her an opportunity to at least make her client aware, which would make it a lot less bad to me and maybe I could forgive. But overall the being lied to, the lying to the clients, and especially the use of AI itself when its something I'm personally very against... I couldn't see myself keeping the relationship. So yesterday I broke up with her. She thinks its an overreaction and not a good reason to leave someone. She is honestly very hurt. And I still care about her as a person. But I just don't agree with what shes doing anymore. AIO?